"Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"
- Proverbs 31:30
"For the Lord sees not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart"
- 1 Samuel 16:7
God's definition of beauty... is a powerful thing.
It legit takes my breath away the more I think about it. I can relate.
I work hard on my gainz. Atleast I try to. I'm all about eating those leafy greens, getting enough protein intake, and crushing it at the gym. I care about what I look like, yeah!
Don't get me wrong, this is a good habit to have. Its only bad when you start thinking that looking good is the only thing that you need to focus on. It shouldn't even be the number one thing that you as a person should work on ( but definitely don't forget about it).
Its all about that inside... your soul. Your heart. What does that look like?
How are you gaining in that area? That's the real deal.
Lemme share a little thing about me with you...
All growing up I struggled with the thought " Am I good enough?"
Am I good enough... good enough to hang with these cool people?
Am I a good enough daughter or am I just the worst?
Am I a loser of a friend?... I feel like I'm cruddy at it.
That boy didn't want you... are you good enough for anyone?
Should I even call myself a Christian.. am I good enough to do that?
Unaccepted.
Unwanted.
Not enough.
I always judge myself and I barely realized it... and it was tiring.
But you know what? I can honestly tell you when I started to feel myself changing.
I felt God saying... "Mikala... why do you think like this. Focus on me!! I make you GOOD ENOUGH. Open your heart to me... let me fill you. Anyone who makes you feel less, they are wrong. You are My daughter. I want you. I want to love you. I want you to know that I desire you. You are enough. Let me in"
I realized that I didn't have my heart in the right place...
Yes I loved God... but I wasn't focusing on where I needed to.
I guess my heart was crooked. I was basing all my thoughts on how much I weighed as person without God's grace flowing through me. I realized all those thoughts were lies that Satan was feeding me. Awful and consuming lies.
Once I started letting God have control over my emotions.. just letting Him have it all.. well the questioning thoughts of "You good enough? You're a worthless daughter. You call yourself a Christian? HA" were replaced with "Yo, you're a daughter of GOD. You're made in his image! His grace fills you... who can tell you that you're not good enough??"
Lemme tell yah, life felt a little bit different after God straightened my heart/focus.
I felt whole. I felt beautiful. I took more control of life... I gained more confidence.
And a little tidbit... soon after this.. God created my love story with my amazing husband.
Its all His plan. Gotta trust in Him... He know's whats up.
Anyways.. back to where I started. God's version of beauty.
He cares about what you are inside... make this right and you will feel more confident about your outside.
Just wanted to be real with you for a couple minutes... cause its a very real thing to me.
I sometimes still struggle with it... Am I a good enough wife? Am I strong enough for my husband? Am I enough of a godly woman?
But I just remind myself... "God... fill me with your goodness. I can't be my best without you. I can't ever be strong enough without you. You complete me. I want to be filled to the brim and overflowed with your grace and assurance. Give me strength and courage. Help me realize I am enough with You"
Don't believe the awful and consuming lies....
Believe the wonderful and consuming Truth...
“Keep your mind clear, and be alert. Your opponent the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion as he looks for someone to devour. Be firm in the faith and resist him …” 1 Peter 5:8-9
